Berean Singles

Identity

Identity

“This World is not my home, I am just passing through.”  Do we get so caught up in the things of this world that we sometimes forget this?  Do we look toward making enough money to buy the bigger home or the new car or the country club membership or even better food for our table and entertainment?

God has given me a gift again and that is to be uncomfortable in this world.  I had become comfortable.  He had provided so much that I had taken my eyes off the prize and where I was going.  Did I cry out, “take me home father” when I had all these things coming into my life.

Having those things is not wrong.  Going to Colorado with special friends was not wrong.  Having a car that works and looks decent is not wrong.  Having no debts and being able to buy my daughter anything was not wrong.  I still attend church weekly and fellowship with other Christians.  Yet I grew comfortable in the world.  My schedule was set and volleyball and life became comfortable.  These are not wrong.  But I lost my hunger for Heaven and wanting to be there.

When you experience living on a daily basis with non Christians that shun you for your Christianity and despise you for your calmness and caring.  It hurts.  I had hoped that the example that I was being might be one that they would see would be an advantage but in this world it is not.  Those who take and live by the sword will succeed in this world.  Those who care about others only matter to those of us who know what true love is.

Is it easy to take on the identity of the world?  Where is our identity.  Who is our identity?  I have a relationship with Christ.  I have had one since the divorce and draw my very strength from knowing Him.  But even with this knowledge, the world pulls me to an identity among itself.

I spoke to a friend the other day that is also searching for a job.  They expressed feeling a deep feeling of shame that they were not working.  I have also felt this sadness come over me at times.  A feeling of unaccomplishment for my day.  The world has given us this idea that if we are not working, we are not worthy.  And the better job that we have, increases our worth exponentially.  The gutter sweeper is on a ladder rung closest to the street he sweeps while the president driving by in his limousine not even noticing the sweeper is on a rung so far up that he can’t believe the sweeper means anything.  This is not God’s plan.  What we do in him is important.  Who we are in him, is the answer.

Our identity is also in our families.   Mine is broken, like an egg that once was whole, its contents have been spilled and are spreading across the grill with no containment or stopping.  I have a family that I do not see and do not guide.  I am a father without a child and a husband without a wife and this identity is no longer.

Life gives us identity, our families, our work, the softball team we play on weekly, the singles group we belong to.

If our identity is not in our families or our work, the two major things in life, do we feel lost?  Do we feel a longing to be a part of something?  It is Christ I know but is it also something within this world?  Is that why we need the singles group and it’s connections?  Is that why we long for Husker football?  To be a part of something?

I look back on my life and while my identity was in Christ (my relationship was in Christ starting 6 years ago) I spent a long time growing up making my worldly identity Christ and his work along with being the best roller skater, then restaurant manager and along the way, family.  My identity was in my church and what I did on a weekly basis.  It wasn’t in the relationship that I had with Christ because it was one way most of the time.  I valued the strength that I gained knowing that I was a great softball player or the best Husker fan and the best manager.  These were where my identities laid.

I went dancing the other night.  Because I am a good dancer.  It is one of the things that gives me identity since I have no job to identify with or a family to spend time with.  It was my island in a storm.  But it is not my identity in Christ.

I am so glad and thank him daily for the relationship that I have with him.  Father, you are my rock and my salvation and I long to be home with you.  You are my true identity and I find solace in this.  But while I am on this earth, I will be searching for that identity out there also but I will strive to hold my identity with you above all else. I thank you father for the reminder of who I am in you and what is important in this life, the reminder that it is only fleeting and my home is not on this earth.